Friday, January 16, 2009

Well

I think I did okay yesterday. Oatmeal, some nuts, the other half of my chicken parmigiana and pasta and then I went to Carino's and picked up dinner and ate entirely too much bread, but it was a better day overall.

I need to get more substantial breakfast plans....light lunch and super light dinner!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

The good, the bad, and the ugly

The good: I did 20 mins of the 30 day shred workout and, I only ate half my lunch that I brought to work today. (I hope to do the shred workout as many days a week as I can. I'm aiming for 4)

The bad: I skipped breakfast and dinner....dinner, not so bad. Breakfast, not a good choice.

The ugly: I had 2 kiddie scoops of ice cream for dinner instead. Logan didn't eat his. Granted, this was better than the huge cone and ice cream, but not the best. Also, my stomach looks so gross. Like I'm 3 months pregnant. I'm not being harsh or overexaggerating..it really does and I'm disgusted!!! Ick.

Tomorrow's plan: Oatmeal, turkey on a whole wheat pita with fruit & veggies as a side....yogurt and nuts as a snack, probably zatarain's with turkey sausage for dinner.

BIG GOAL: Wake up and "shred" again!! It's only 20 friggin minutes!!!! Seriously!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Manic Monday

Monday's seem to be a time for starting things. The work week, new diets, going pee all the time....all of those things come to mind right now. The peeing is probably b/c I've had about 45 oz. of water today thus far! I'm back on Medifast today. I have about a month's worth of food that I already paid for, and need to use up, and 95% of my clothes no longer fit me. Since I can't go to work in workout clothes (work is not the key word here)...I needed to do something drastic. I made hot cocoa this morning. One of my meals for the day. I added a little coffee to it and it was delicious. I made some for lunch too, sans coffee, not so good. It's clumpy. Medifast food is good as long as you make it the right way. This is gross...but I will eat it. It's just food right? Clearly, I like the way food tastes too much, and need to learn how to eat to live, not live to eat. Not saying I can't enjoy what I eat, but I just really, really like how food tastes...so much that I will eat way past my point of no longer being hungry...and that is not healthy. Mostly b/c it's usually not baby carrots!

I weighed in this morning at 198. 2 lbs. shy of 200. I was down to 168 this past June....I can get there again. Realistically, my goal weight is 155. Technically, I should be between 115-138...but I think 155 isn't too out of line. Anyway, let's go month by month. My goal this month is to lose 10 lbs. I don't think that's too much....I'm trying to remind myself that slow and steady wins the race. What's losing 30 lbs in a month if you can't keep it off? So, 2.5 lbs. a week is my goal. I guess since I'm starting this week, 7.5 lbs. is my total January goal....

Also, I had a lot of fun this past weekend. And, I made a good choice at dinner....maybe it was just one meal, but slow and steady...

Monday, January 5, 2009

Wake-up time

Dear Diary,
Today was Al's first day at work. He has to get up around 6 now, which is awful and great at the same time because it means I have to get up too, and getting up early is what I've been trying to do for about 3 years now. You know, for that morning workout that puts the extra pep in your step.

(On a side note, Crystal Lite Energy-Wild Strawberry-is incredibly tasty!)

I've stocked my fridge at home with good foods. I've done the same here at work and today is day one with really trying to eat better. I know Jan. 1 is the traditional starting day for new beginnings, but I've always been a procrastinator.

My "Jillian Micheals 30 day shred" DVD got to see the light of day this weekend. Not because I took it out and played it, but because I actually rescued it from a dark corner in my bedroom where it's been for the last 6 or so months. The last time I did anything remotely aerobic was Sept. 28, 2008. The first, and only, time I've ever used my iPod plus. Those shoes I was inspired to buy during a late-night tv binge with infomercials and sad stories of teens that weigh 400 lbs. I got my shoes shortly thereafter and then discovered I needed an iPod, but I was SURE I was going to work out, so it was worth the cost....

Time to pull out the shoes again. The gym opens on the 15th...or maybe the 19th. It's anybody's guess....since I've been waiting since Nov. 15th, it doesn't really matter to me as long as it finally opens! I went and bought some new clothes at Academy. I WANTED to buy some new clothes at Old Navy. Roomy clothes. Clothes that fit. Just for now...because I'm not staying this size, right? Instead, I bought workout clothes. Cute ones so I'll feel good at the gym. If I keep getting up at 6 like Al, I can drop off the kids and go work out before work. Get it done with for the day.

I wish I'd used that time when I was single and all I had to do was work from 8-5 to establish better habits. Looking back, I'm WAY healthier than I ever was at 10 or 15. Sure, I was smaller then, but not necessarily healthy. Except the year I was in drill team and actually worked out. Man, that felt good....I need to get that back.

So, my goal today was to get up at 6. Tomorrow, my goal is to get up at 6 and do my workout DVD. Weds., it'll be to get up, work out and track my meals. (I'm eating healthy today anyway, but I need to watch what I'm eating and to do that, I need to track it b/c I sometimes fib to myself about what I've had that day)

And with that, I am off to get back to work.

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,
My clothes don't fit, but I just pretend I don't like them anymore.
Dear Diary,
I get winded when I clean up the living room, but I just pretend it's because I've been singing along to my iPod too excitedly.
Dear Diary,
I love to eat and tell myself that my reward for working "so hard" all day long should be food.
Dear Diary,
I haven't weighed myself in a while because I think if I don't see the number, it's not really there.
Dear Diary,
I've contemplated getting pregnant again quicker than I'd originally planned because it would be easier to feel pregnant than fat.
Dear Diary,
I sometimes wonder if I'll end up like those people on TV that have special clothes and fat rolls that overlap the tops of their shoes and I cry when I think of how disgusted with myself that I am.
Dear Diary,
I'm tired of being fat.